A Slave to My Stuff: The True Cost of Clutter
Nov 10
8 min read
0
0
0
I always thought I was the one in control. I mean, I do the work. I make the money. I choose to fill my house with the things I love. I decide what comes in and where it goes. I am the designer and curator of my immediate environment, and what could be more “in control” than that?
But recently, I came to the realization that all the stuff I thought I controlled was actually controlling me. And it wasn’t just about the dollars I was dishing out, although let’s be real, those add up fast. It was the all time and energy I never thought to calculate. How many hours of my life did I have to work to buy that dress I only wear once a year? How much time did I waste moving every mess pile from one area of the house to another? Half the time, I’d buy something simply because I couldn’t remember if I’d already bought it. And when you’re running out of space to store your tenth can of tomato sauce, it’s kind of hard to deny there’s an issue.
The true breaking point came when I looked around and noticed my house had become more of a storage space than a home. And don’t even get me started on my garage. It was a black hole, swallowing up things I forgot I even owned. My pantry and cabinets were in disarray, and I could never seem to find the right USB power cord, spare batteries or Tupperware lid. I couldn’t even work at my desk, which was filled with useless gadgets and unread books that seemed like a great idea at the time.
You know how it goes. It starts with just a couple of items, and then you find yourself cleaning around stuff you didn’t even really want to begin with, and inevitably maintaining things that don’t add value to your life. I felt like I was drowning in my own possessions. Not only was I physically tired from cleaning, I was mentally exhausted from living in the mess. And that’s when I snapped.
I rented a driveway-safe dumpster that didn’t require HOA approval, called 2 of my friends over, and went on a whirlwind cleaning rampage. If I hadn’t touched it in a while, I didn’t care what kind of “just in case” or “but someday” excuses I had for it, in the dumpster or donation bag it went. My friends were instructed not to show me anything and make a judgment call of their own. If I can’t see it, I don’t know it’s not there anymore, and if I couldn’t account for it, I certainly wasn’t using it. When we were done, nearly half of my things were gone.
The feeling after they towed the dumpster away was pure lightness. The tension, the energy it took to manage items that brought me little joy, the feeling of being submerged in a sea of stuff- it was all gone. I breathed deeper than I have in a long, long time. The house felt more like a home, and I felt more like myself.
Letting go of things is transactional in its own way. In exchange for a large chunk of my stuff, I received something far more valuable: a clearer mind, movement in energy, and a sense of flow throughout my home. It wasn’t just about decluttering. It was about the time and mental bandwidth I reclaimed by not having to think about the mess. No more wondering where things were, no more guilt over projects I never finished, and no more “I’ll eventually get to cleaning that” plaguing my brain.
Most importantly, it was about releasing the stuck, stagnant energy that had been weighing me down. When stuff sits untouched, it holds energy in place, and that stagnation creeps into other parts of my life, making me feel stuck emotionally, creatively, and even physically. Every item I let go opened a new channel for fresh energy to move through me. In essence, I was liberating myself from what no longer served me to make space for the things that do.
More Than Just A Mess - It’s a Mind-F*ck
Now, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t about becoming a minimalist or trying to live out of a suitcase, though I get why minimalism became so popular. There is an appeal to the discipline it requires, and something satisfying about the idea of only owning the essentials. (We’ll get more into discipline in a future column). But, minimalism never really vibed with me. That’s probably because joy, for me, comes in the form of having choices and variety. If you’re anything like me, then the focus isn’t about owning as little as possible; it’s about owning intentionally. When you don’t own intentionally, the balance is off, and the time, energy, and mental load that clutter takes becomes far more devastating than we often realize.
In fact, did you know that clutter is a nationwide epidemic? According to a survey by Mercari¹, 50% of Americans report feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff in their homes. The average household has 42 items that are no longer in use, which adds up to over 5.3 billion unused items across the U.S.
Research also shows clutter affects more than just our wallets; it takes a serious toll on our brains too. A 2011 study² using fMRI technology revealed that clearing clutter from our environment boosts focus and productivity, while disorganization and clutter have a cumulative negative impact on our cognitive resources. Yep. Those constant visual reminders of chaos drain our ability to concentrate, leaving us less able to process information³. In fact, clutter can trigger certain avoidance behaviors like mindlessly snacking or binge-watching TV shows⁴. The mental load of clutter isn’t something we can just ignore anymore. It's sapping our energy, reducing our working memory, and keeping us from living optimally.
"I hear it all the time,” says Kenny of Roll’N Dumpsters, a family owned small business in Las Vegas. (This is not a sponsored post, I paid full price for my dumpster rental.) “People feel like a huge weight has been lifted after a big purge. Once the junk is gone, it’s like they can finally breathe again. And it’s not just about the stuff. It’s about the space they get back in their heads and in their lives.”
A Practical Guide to Purging
Let’s say you’ve decided to do the work and want to throw a full-on purge-athon. Here are some tips:
Start with the Right Mindset
Before you touch anything, work on getting in the right headspace.
Hack Your Algorithm: If you consume social media, you can start by shifting your algorithm. Spend some time following decluttering and minimalism content to get inspired and envision your goal more vividly.
Make a Decision: Decide, not on what you want to do, but how you want to live. What values do you want to embody? Redefine your identity and align your actions with that. Who are you now? And more importantly, who you are no longer? This shift makes it easier to let go of items that no longer fit into the life you want to create.
Accept that it’s Okay to Throw it Away: As a first generation immigrant, this was the hardest one for me. My parents are extremely frugal. In fact, they still reuse tin foil, clip coupons from the Sunday paper and cut up old T-shirts to repurpose as cleaning rags. When I began my own cleaning process, I kept thinking, “If someone found the right missing part, this could still be useful!” That thought process kept dragging on and on, and at that pace, it would take me six weeks to go through my possessions. So, when in doubt:
Donate things that have all parts included.
Toss what’s not complete. That $15.99 steamer is going to eat up three hours of your time while you search for the missing lid, plus the real estate it takes up in your cabinet. It’s not worth it.
Gather Your Supplies
Having the right tools on hand makes the purge process go a lot smoother:
4-ml Contractor Bags: Trust us: thin bags will rip. Get thick, durable bags that can handle heavy loads.
Large Moving Boxes: Use these for bulkier items that don’t fit in bags.
Two Colored Zip-Ties: Assign one color for donation bags and another for trash to avoid confusion.
Packing Tape and Permanent Markers: Label the boxes you’re keeping clearly to stay organized throughout the process.
Dumpster Rental: If you’re purging a lot, consider renting a driveway-safe mini dumpster for a few days. Many services will handle both delivery and haul-away.
Shredder: Use a shredder for sensitive documents like credit card bills to protect against identity theft.
Purge Like a Pro
It’s time to dive in. Be ruthless, and don’t overthink it. Here’s how to make it easier:
Stick to the 6-Month Rule: If you haven’t used or touched it in the past six months, it’s probably not worth keeping.
Make Fast Decisions: Don’t spend more than 10 seconds deciding whether to keep or toss an item. Trust your gut.
Eliminate “Just in Case” Thinking: If your only reason for keeping something is “one day it might be useful,” let it go. Can you borrow it if the need arises? Or, if it costs less than $25, could you buy it again later, if necessary?
Reclaiming Your Space & Your Sanity (For Good!)
How do you keep from having it all just pile up again? For me, I had to rethink how I shop. My biggest tip? If you’re going out to buy something specific, don’t even grab a shopping cart. You’ll be less tempted to fill it with things you don’t need. Be intentional with your choices, and ask yourself one question before each purchase: will this thing own me, or will I own it?
Here are some other tips to keep the clutter at bay:
One In, Two Out Rule: For every new item you bring into your home, let go of two other things. This rule keeps your space balanced and prevents clutter from slowly creeping back into your life.
Create Clear Boundaries for Your Space: Designate specific areas for your belongings, and stick to them. If your stuff starts to overflow within those boundaries, you’ll know it’s time to reassess and purge again.
Have Regular Purge Sessions: I used to wait until the mess became unbearable. Don’t be like me. Schedule a quick monthly or quarterly declutter session. Even 10-15 minutes can keep things in check and prevent stuff from piling up.
Mind the Multiples: Be mindful of buying multiples of things. Before purchasing, check to see if you already own something similar.
Be Wary of Sales Psychology: Stores aren’t designed to save you money—they're designed to make you spend more. Deals like “Buy 2, Get 1 Free” aren’t always in your best interest. That third item wasn’t free; it just increased your total spending by $29. Instead of letting sales dictate your purchases, shop with intention and ask yourself if the item truly aligns with your needs and values.
Rethink Bulk Buying: Likewise, it might feel like buying in bulk is a money-saving hack, but sometimes, it’s anything but. Shoppers at warehouse stores like Costco often fall into the “mind-trap” of thinking they’re saving, only to waste money on items they never finish. Bulk buys, especially for perishables or trendy snacks, often end up in the trash when tastes change or food spoils before it can be used. Trying to take advantage of a “good deal” can lead you to buy more than you need, and chances are you’ll end up cluttering your pantry with giant jars and half-eaten bags of niche snacks.
When we’re not careful, the tail starts to wag the dog, and we end up just along for the ride. Personally, I’m excited to be able to say I’m back in control. I know what I have, I know what I need, and my stuff serves me—not the other way around.
May you also be in control of what you own.
Sources:
²https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21228167/
³https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1523471113
⁴https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2711870
Jaden Rae is a Las Vegas resident, best-selling author of the Microdosing Guide And Journal, and founder of American Farmacy, a modern apothecary that empowers people to take control of their own health using Earth’s original medicine. She is dedicated to teaching people the beauty of living sensually, exploring simple pleasures, finding your authentic voice and manifesting flow in everyday life. Jaden has been featured on the Today Show, The Early Show, Martha Stewart Radio, Fox Business News and more. You can find her on Instagram at @american_farmacy.
Related Posts
