Ellie Laks cares for hundreds of abandoned, abused, and traumatized animals at The Gentle Barn, the animal sanctuary she founded with three locations across the U.S. But, it was these same animals who taught her how to care for herself. And through their extraordinary role modeling, they also helped her find her voice as a strong female leader. Ellie talks about this experience in her new book, Cow Hug Therapy: How the Animals of the Gentle Barn Taught Me About Life, Death and Everything in Between. We recently spoke with Ellie to find out more about her journey.
Vegas Wellness Magazine: Tell us about your journey and what interested you in animal wellness and self-care.
Ellie Laks: I was born an animal lover and never outgrew it. Going through the challenges of growing up, it was always animals who listened as I cried, made me feel valued and wanted, and encouraged me to stay, at times when I didn’t want to be here. It was a hummingbird who encouraged me not to attempt suicide at seven years old, the bunnies in the woods who kept me company, and my dog who was my best friend. Because animals saved me when I was a child, I wanted to dedicate my life to saving them. I always saw animals as my friends, teachers, and witnesses, but I also saw that the people around me didn’t see animals the way that I did. It broke my heart. I didn’t understand it, and from the time I was seven, I told everyone that when I grew up I was going to have a big place full of animals and show the world how beautiful they are.
VWM: Give us a little history on The Gentle Barn and how it came to be.
EL: As a young adult, I discovered an abusive petting zoo. I brought sick animals home to my half-acre backyard and cared for them. Those first rescues set me on course to my dream and I finally founded The Gentle Barn in 1999. In August 1999, I opened our barnyard and our home for guests to fall in love with them and rolled out programs for hurting humans to heal beside our animal ambassadors. In 2002, I met a volunteer named Jay Weiner and we soon fell in love and joined forces to expand our mission. In 2003, we expanded to a larger location just outside Los Angeles. In 2015, we rescued a cow named Dudley who was missing a foot in Nashville. We got him the surgeries, rehabilitation, and prosthetics that he needed and opened our second location in Tennessee. In 2018, we saved six cows who escaped a slaughterhouse in St Louis and added our third location in Missouri.
VWM: What is it about cows (specifically) that connects so well with human behaviors? How do you connect the dots between these ideas?
EL: I believe that all animals have something to teach us and ways to heal us. Horses allow us to practice confidence and leadership skills, smaller animals give us the opportunity to practice empathy, and through brushing and grooming animals we can practice coordination, vocal skills, and motor skills. But cows offer something very unique. With all other animals, we tend to be in a dominant role with them, we are the ones who hold them, walk them, or ride them. But with our Gentle Barn cows who outweigh us by thousands of pounds, we are in no way dominant over them. They make us feel humble and vulnerable. We cannot train our cows to be therapists, it is something that they choose for themselves. When they elect to bring us into the folds of their families, we can feel their nurturing and inclusion. Cows regularly meditate and when we are still and quiet with them, it clears our minds of thought and we feel grounded, centered, and present. Like an infant with a caregiver, when we rest our faces against our gentle giants, we can hear their heartbeats and slow down our own heart rate, rise and fall with their breathing and connect with it, and feel loved and hopeful embraced in their giant, protective frames.
I created Cow Hug Therapy 25 years ago when I rescued my very first cow named Buddha. I would lean against her at the end of exhausting days and she, in turn, would wrap her neck around me and hold me for hours while I cried onto her shoulder. She healed me and kept me strong, and I knew that the rest of the world needed this type of healing, as well.
We have used this healing modality for those in foster care, domestic violence shelters, war veteran centers, inner-city schools, special-needs classes, anyone recovering from drug and alcohol, on probation, and anyone out there that is suffering.
During the pandemic there were so many individuals that were suffering and in need of hope that we opened Cow Hug Therapy sessions for anyone. Cow Hug Therapy is perfect for anyone dealing with depression, anxiety, grief, loneliness, and anyone needing a really good hug.
VWM: What are some bullet points for the average person on a self-care journey?
EL:
Self-care is so important! We tend not to take ourselves and our own needs seriously, but we need to love and care for ourselves in order for us to give to anyone else.
Self-care is a journey and can be done little by little. Come up with a wish list and do each item one by one. Maybe you start with a commitment to eat healthier, less sugar, eliminate animal products, alcohol, or caffeine. Once you are fully committed there, maybe you can establish a daily meditation practice. Once that fits into your life, you might dedicate time toward exercise. Take one step at a time.
Self-care is not about being arrogant, selfish, or vain. It is about putting yourself on the list of people you care about, and being just as caring of yourself as you are about everyone else. It is just simply adding yourself to the list.
We are all intuitive and we all inherently know who we are and what we have come to do. But we do get lost and we forget. Self-care is about taking ourselves seriously, listening to that still small voice inside of us, following our own instincts, and using our own feelings as a compass of where we are meant to be and what we are meant to do.
The biggest thing that all animals teach us is about the importance of meditation and taking time for ourselves. All animals rest and meditate. As humans we don’t do it enough. Just five minutes a day will change your life!
All animals practice self-care!
VWM: Do you have any other health/wellness efforts in the works?
EL: At The Gentle Barn we offer cow hug therapy to find healing and hope, barnyard therapy to bring back magic, laughter, and fun in your life, and equine therapy to practice confidence and leadership skills. Our animals are master teachers and have something for everyone. Personally, I am taking better care of my body now that I am older and dedicating myself to daily exercise and healthier eating habits.
VWM: How can readers follow what you are doing, and where can readers pick up your book?
EL: More information can be found online at ellieLaks.com and gentleBarn.org. Readers can follow me on social media @EllieLaks and @TheGentleBarn. My books, My Gentle Barn and Cow Hug Therapy are available on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble. You can get a signed copy at gentlebarn.org.
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