Enhancing the Human Connection: Healthier Alternatives to Alcohol

Whether you participate in "Sober October" or maintain a constant state of sobriety, whether you are a frequent drinker or a social drinker, this piece invites readers from all walks of life to contemplate the intentions behind their alcohol consumption and take interest in various ways human connection can be improved.

At the heart of our choices lies intention—a driving force shaping our actions, influencing decisions, and guiding reasoning. 

In a recent exploration, I delved into the comparison between psychedelics and alcohol within the intricate realms of self-discovery, connection, relationships, and sex. The allure of alcohol, whether in social gatherings or intimate settings, frequently originates from a craving for what we call "liquid courage." It's that extra sip taken at a party teeming with strangers, a means of coping with a stressful situation, the echoes of trauma, or a tool for navigating experiences with a partner that range from unfulfilling to downright frustrating. 

So, the question arose: Can psychedelics enhance our relationships and maybe even our sex lives more than alcohol? The answer lies not just in pleasure, but in deeper connection and in the ability to set purposeful intentions. Yes, this can potentially be fostered by certain psychedelics, particularly empathogenic, heart opening ones like MDMA. However, at the very core of it all is the importance of the bond we have with ourselves: self-love, how we strive to be better humans, and when we recognize that how we treat others is often a reflection of that very relationship to self. A healthy relationship with self is the foundation of having healthy, fulfilling relationships with others, and that often involves how we present ourselves in society, our sense of duty, and our commitment to our loved ones. 

Let’s kick it off with an exciting one:

Beyond recreational use, certain psychedelics, like MDMA, when used in a safe container, can enhance libido, intensify sensory experiences, and promote meaningful connection. Pharmacologically, MDMA exercises dual action on serotonin and dopamine neurotransmitters, facilitating feelings of openness, self-acceptance, and love. It is being studied for PTSD and couples’ therapy, and can foster greater desire between partners, elevate mood, motivation, social engagement, and empathy. It reduces hypervigilance and promotes trust. [1,2,3,8]

A safe container of use can provide the deepening of rapport and communication with a therapist, a friend, or a partner. It can encourage personal growth, introspection, and a willingness to face difficult memories and traumas, as well as provides an opportunity to transform dysfunctional patterns associated with those very traumas. For some, it’s an opportunity for true self-healing, for others it’s repairing relationships, and strengthening bonds. 

So are we replacing alcohol with psychedelics when we party? 

It’s not quite so straightforward. Replacing alcohol with psychedelics isn't a magical solution as the potential for addiction and misuse is equally as real. Open dialogue and education is needed to promote safe and appropriate use. Responsibility and integrity stand tall above all, no matter your intended use. Psychedelics present another tool in our proverbial toolbox to help us reach a place where we embrace presence and intention. Alcohol can quickly go from social lubricant, or liquid courage to a crutch or a dissociative. 

Psychedelics are not meant for dissociation nor do they present an escape route. If used appropriately, they are your guide to the very  place where joy, love, authenticity, and self-acceptance prevail. That is why, in my opinion, so many gravitate toward and enjoy a psychedelic like MDMA in a recreational setting. 

And what about people who say it’s a sex drug? 

The answer lies not in your sex swing…well maybe it does at times, but what we really need is to redefine the meaning of intimacy. If you are using psychedelics to enrich your relationships and sex life, then you’ll soon realize that it transcends mere pleasure, by  redefining intimacy and the very meaning of sex, revealing a deeper layer of connection. It encourages self-discovery, mutual understanding, and appreciation within relationships. And if that leads you to better sex (and it will), then you’ve won! 

Psychedelics are said to have the ability to change our minds. Society certainly needs to change its mind about how it views sex, how it presents sex to our youth, the expectations it sets, as well as the gender roles. If psychedelics can help redefine all of this and more, leading to a healthier mindset, less shame, more awareness, and ultimately happy, healthier, and more fulfilled individuals, then the answer is F*** yes! Psychedelics can enhance our sex lives and our relationships more than alcohol!  We certainly don’t need to be leaving our bodies when we are connecting with others; when we are engaging in an act that is so intricately woven into the human experience. 

More than just physical pleasure, meaningful and honest communication contribute to a more fulfilling relationship and sexual experience. It might just inspire you to share a fantasy or imagine a new one. It might inspire you to integrate bonding activities with your partner.  Or to turn the infamous “we need to talk” into “we can't believe we didn’t talk about this sooner”.

Not ready to have a psychedelic experience?

That’s cool too, because this exploration doesn't begin, nor does it end with psychedelics, as various consciousness-altering and bonding practices can be just as valuable. Whether it's (solo or shared) breathwork, meditation, daily moments of eye-gazing, music, dance, sharing passions, fantasies, or desires, intentional time to talk, expressing appreciation, or other rituals, practices, or activities, the key is to achieve closeness, foster honest communication, shed ego, embrace vulnerability, and cultivate trust and curiosity. 

Boldly presenting our authentic selves, embracing diversity, and cultivating acceptance amidst our differences, while harboring a profound curiosity to delve into  stimulating subjects, encapsulates a culture often associated with psychedelics. However, this very ethos, of course, exists outside the realm of psychedelics, embodying principles cherished by individuals across various walks of life—not just limited to psychonauts. This culture beckons us to navigate the depths of our minds, fostering connections with like-minded individuals and fostering an inclusive atmosphere that extends beyond the psychedelic experience, and THAT will most certainly enrich our relationship to self and to others.  I intentionally keep mentioning “self”, as it is the foundation of all other relationships, and it needs to be nurtured.

Curious about trying something other than alcohol, but aren’t quite ready for a psychedelic experience: 

Kanna (Sceletium tortuosum), also sometimes referred to as “Nature's MDMA”, is a psychoactive plant without psychedelic properties or addictive and neurotoxic potential. This succulent originates from South Africa and has been utilized for centuries to manage stress [4]. Historical accounts reveal that soldiers used it to calm their nerves before battle, and mothers even administered it to babies with colic [5]. Beyond being a heart opener, Kanna has the capacity to ground you, alleviate anxiety, improve your sleep, uplift your mood, and contribute to a healthy libido, even boosting your desire. It also plays well with others, like cacao or cannabis [5]. Kanna can be a natural alternative to integrate for support on a variety of levels, from recreational, to ceremonial, and spiritual.

Plant Power You Can Drink

In the realm of beverages, a burgeoning trend is the emergence of plant-powered, functional, and non-alcoholic alternatives—some of which are even imbued with psychoactive properties (and entirely legal)! The difference is that these psychoactive substances will alter your central nervous system without being psychedelic or hallucinogenic. “Functional” is often used interchangeably with the term “adaptogenic”. Adaptogens support homeostasis (your body’s natural state of physiological equilibrium) and “functional” essentially means that it serves a purpose for your body and can exercise an effect on your bodily functions, whether that's on the cognitive or physical level. These beverages can energize and uplift you. They can even mellow and relax you. 

You can now imbibe to your desired vibe. 

Companies like Elixart and Good + Bar specialize in crafting such products, and are redefining what we know as “mocktails”, without the aftermath of a hangover—and, let's face it, the inevitable regret. Some of these same herbs and plants can be taken individually or stacked to supplement daily nutrition as well. We’re talking about kanna, ginkgo biloba, ashwagandha, ginseng, maca, reishi, chaga, lion’s mane, cordyceps, valerian, kava, damiana, blue lotus, fenugreek, tribulus, and many more (See upcoming article on stacking functional plants and mushrooms).  

In essence, while many of my friends can attest to the fact that I love champagne, I firmly maintain that alcohol holds a high potential for misuse, leading to numbness, dissociation, and perpetuating disconnection and avoidance. While I do of course acknowledge that psychedelics pose risks and can also be misused, the difference lies in the fact that I do not see a situation where alcohol can elevate one’s consciousness; and I am not referring to wine with dinner, or cold beer at the beach. I advocate for alternative, healthier avenues to address emotions, facilitate healing, nurture connections, and enrich relationships with ourselves and with others. 

Through the transformative experiences of heart-opening psychedelics or medicinal plants like Kanna, or intentional solo and shared practices, a profound realization dawns: the potent ability within us to replicate the sublime sensations of unity, self-love, and curiosity. Equipped with these insights, we can allow these profound feelings to be our guiding force.

Stephanie Karzon Abrams, a neuropharmacologist with a Masters of Science in Clinical Pharmacology, is the founding advisor of Beyond The Bench consultancy. The firm provides science, research, operations, and strategy solutions to organizations and clinics in the natural product, plant medicine, and psychedelic sectors. A recognized leader in shaping the future of integrative and innovative healthcare, Stephanie Karzon Abrams champions the exploration of novel therapeutic approaches. Her interests extend beyond neurology, encompassing plant medicines, women's health, and the potential of music to enhance healing.

Stephanie is a dedicated advocate for public education and strives to redefine the landscape of health and wellness through open access education and public speaking. Her passions extend to community building, philanthropy, and music, with a particular focus on integrating her passions through unique gatherings and initiatives that foster connection. Stephanie is co-creator of Public Secret, a music label, management agency, and artist collective; Mt. Mushmore, Higher Elevation, a social and educational dinner series; and The Last 6, a community organization that educates and funds research for the acute childhood illness, Kawasaki disease.

Stephanie’s career path transcends traditional boundaries, blending her deep scientific expertise with strategic thinking and a passion for exploring innovative healthcare solutions. Her foundation lies in rigorous research, followed by experience at Johnson and Johnson (Biosense Webster) where she honed her operational, strategic planning, and key opinion leader (KOL) engagement skills. Stephanie’s current work as a prescriber for MDMA and psilocybin therapy for the Canadian Special Access Program (SAP), and her role as a scientific advisor for the Microdosing Collective, exemplifies her commitment to advancing these emerging fields.